Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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