I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
