12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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