Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We're too hungover to prance.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
