Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
