There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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