Nicole vs. Life
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
