Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I think i peed on brittanys purse
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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