I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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