also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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