thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize