I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Couch. On fire.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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