all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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