I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
