Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
