Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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