"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Randomize