Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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