i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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