I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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