honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
