I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
