the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
