I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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