Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
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it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
bring money and cleavage
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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