I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Randomize
