Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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