I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
