Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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