We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
