Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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