Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
There r osticjed everywhere
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
