I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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