I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
