so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
