walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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