pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
