i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Who did Billy Mays play for?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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