we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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