I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize