Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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