This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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