why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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