im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
third nipple confirmed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
