We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize