Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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