A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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