So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
