it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
