And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
