well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
