drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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