I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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