Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Randomize
