My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
