I wanna bring you to show and tell
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
