i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
